India 29. ‘All tears were cried by dreams come true’

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‘All tears were cried by dreams come true’ Mother Teresa once said.

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They were waving with their little hands, screaming ‘Teacher Paris, teacher Paris, Goodbye teacher Paris, see you tomorrow.’

The truth is that there was no tomorrow. I was leaving my duty as an English teacher in the after-school program in Udaipur. I asked S., not to tell the kids it was our last day, our last lesson together, because I wanted to leave them gracefully, with a good memory, without tears in their eyes. I wanted all the tears, and in the moment I saw that picture of me leaving with S. with the bike, and the children greeting me, I had all the tears I wished, fulfilling my eyes. Tears of happiness.. So much happiness that it was incredibly painful to hold it all.

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My last day in the center with the children was like a dream. I was late, because I was looking for a cake it the downtown. The riksha-man drove me to several cake shops, but not even in one of them I found a baked cake, because in the town they prepare big cakes only with a couple of days pre-order. I decided to buy 30 pieces of cake, which was almost everything they had in the shop and went to the village where the after-school center was situated. Faces. Beautiful little faces, the smell of fresh air and a sweet smell of tasty cake. All mixed in the air of this beautiful last day. And many mixed emotions in my head. Emotions of love, happiness, but also nostalgia and sadness. This last day with the kids, I cannot forget.

Bharty, Nirmala (pure), Ganesh (Son of Lord Shiva & Parvati), Maya, Puskar (a lotus, a lake), Daruk, Deepak, Dilip, Dilyn, Ekram (meaning of honour), Fahrat (happiness), Fateh (victory), Gayak (singer), Ghalib (singer), Gayan (knowledge), Hardik (heartfelt), Idris (Feary God), Indra (excellent, first), Jagad (universe), Naveen (new) , Neel (cloud, champion, passionate), Padman (lotus), Pallav (new leaves), Phatik (a traveller), Rohit (red), Shaan (pride), Yogessh (ascetic).

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With the time passing by I forgot some of their names, and maybe I will forget more (they say stupid are remembering, intelligent are writing), but I will not forget their faces. Their beautiful smiles, which were a balm for my heart, for my soul. All the kids that day were literally jumping over me, especially the little ones, crying out my name, telling me “teacher, teacher”, hugging me. It was one of the best, if not the best, moments of my life. The little ones were swarmed around me, playing together, and then I was competing with the older ones in their games. My eyes suddenly filled with tears, and I went to a hidden place, ready to cry. But then a though came into my mind- “Why cry? Weren’t these the most wonderful moments of my life?? Wasn’t this voluntary work my dream which became true?” So I step back in the terrace with the kids and just smiled. I was taking care of my students for so long, I did everything I could to give them the purest love possible pouring out of my heart, so they can feel fine. Yes, there will be a parting between us, but it will give an even better beginning, I knew that! Because life starts all over again. So I decided to appreciate every moment, to love passionately, to live, to smile, flying over the wings of happiness, from now on, even more than I used to. “Never give up in such a wonderful life…“

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I drow my best friend Kapil a painting to remind him about when I am gone and gave him as a present.  308231_135123589922346_1351313287_n

At last, I was waving for goodbye to the kids, moving away from the village. All their graceful faces, memorized in my head. In this moment I had this great feeling of fulfilling all the emptiness I have ever had in my life. Being happy, being in harmony with myself. I knew what I wanted. I was savoring my life, taking care of myself, taking care of the others. The greater simplicity, the greater sophistication in life. I was in equilibrium, because I was finally not only knowing, but truly enjoying and accepting that the “good” and the “evil” are faces of one and the same coin. And moreover, to appreciate every breath of life, because tasty or not, it would never come back and repeat itself. “Don’t be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.”-Richard Bach once had written.

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But I am also not going to salute you goodbye, my lovely readers. Because I know after this 7 months together, sharing an important part of my life, and not only, we are connected, and we will be from now on. Feeling free, escaping of the reality and creating a new one, which suits you better, is just an incredible feeling, and I wish you felt this reading my stores. Of course many things will be left hidden and rest in peace in India, but you know – some words are better left unsaid. And we all need our own skeletons in the closet. I believe we will meet again, many more times, and I hope the happiness and joy I share will reach many more people all over the World. I wish you would do the same, because every person can be the best version of himself, and we do not need to wait for anything to be it. Destiny, my dears, doesn’t exit. «The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.» And I am sure you will choose wisely.

Last but not least, my readers, never forget to FEED Your HUMANITY, because for somebody, somewhere it will make a difference.

Love,

Paris Nikolova

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2 responses to “India 29. ‘All tears were cried by dreams come true’

  1. After reading this, there are tears in my eyes.. Can’t imagine how those kids took that you were gone.. You made a great impact on them. Highly influenced by your blog dear. Keep going. 🙂

    Like

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