27″You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery;’
28 but I tell you that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Lust – often referred generally to desire, appetite, or pleasure.One of the 7 deadly sins according to the Bible.
It is quite strange but one of the first things I found out after my arrival in Africa is that polygamy is fairly common in Kenya. On the other side strong faith in the Bible that follows to even stronger moral and severe restrictions are fairly common in Kenya. I was truly confused. Pleasure, delight, prejudice. How?
In order to educate a generation you don’t only need to speak about the good qualities and morals of well-being. According to me, you must give personal example. I cannot disrespect my students in class and expect them not to do the same in return. I cannot marry two men and explain to my future kids how important monogamy is. Because all of this would be considered as hypocrisy, and we don’t trust hypocrites, right?
When I arrived at Kenyatta airport in Nairobi, I had no idea how to reach the bus station and catch the bus to the town I was going to live in for the next month, called Bungoma, where I was going to volunteer and help in the local orphanage. Then I met these two sisters, both very kind and smiling, who helped me a lot and even came with me to the bus station and waited until I departed. So when I first asked one of them, how was it possible that they are so kind and helpful to a stranger without asking for anything in return, one of them just said: “I need you – you need me. I will guide you, you will guide me.”
I don’t know if you, my dear readers, are religious or not. But what I honestly know is that believing in something and having faith helps dealing with our everyday life, with all of the ups and downs we usually have. Having a hope is important. But let’s see if having restrictions is so too. That is why I am starting the “7 deadly sins’ articles”, or maybe less, depending on what I would love and consider respectful to share with you about my latest voluntary experience in Africa. I told you the story of my landing and searching for transport, because I was really fascinated by the thing one of the sisters told me about the African mentality and their way of helping the others. Giving someone a chance to get through a tough situation. How wonderful is that! “I will guide you, you will guide me.”
Occasionally, while chatting with the two sisters I got to know that people in Kenya want to give each other more than one chance in different life fields, or in other words, in Kenya it is (or was – I am really not so sure, because different sources gave me different views of the “problem”) accepted that whether one man marries two women, sometimes even more than two, only depends on the fact whether he can support them. But as I was told lately, not only marrying but having multiple families. The situation goes simply like this. He (if affordable) has 2, 3 more houses and in each one he has one wife who is taking care of their kids. So if I’ve understood right, one night he is going to the one family, next to the second, etc., and that is how they are “sharing” their life. I am starting with this, not only because it was the first thing that was really strange as a cultural difference to me, but because I also think it is in complete contradiction with the morals the pastor was preaching in the local church during the service.
I would not tell you my opinion about this local problem, maybe I will do it later, in my next articles. Now I will leave you only with some questions I am just having in mind. You can make your own conclusions.
What is Lust? And why people consider it as such a bad thing? And why a society that has so much churches and faith, has double marriages as a common thing, so many cases of pregnancy before marriage and 50 % of HIV infected people, transmitted mainly by unprotected sex? The only thing I want to say is if we consider Lust as a “deadly sin” and we are so afraid to dedicate ourselves to our true desires, does it really help in our actual life or it destroys it? Is it so bad if we search for satisfaction? Satisfaction of our fantasies? What should we teach our kids? What was I supposed to teach the kids I was helping in Bungoma? That lust is so bad, so they will want the thing they are not allowed to have even more?
The only thing I would like to add is – May the chastity be with you and help you live happily ever after.