Memories are like dreams sometimes, it is difficult to remember whether it was a reality or it only happened in your mind. Especially when you change places. I feel like a little kid that wants to color everywhere but sometimes I feel like I have no more colours left in my pocket. In my mind I am absolutely free and I am dreaming of a better place. In my mind I am really strong. I believe that everyone is better on the inside but there are many severe obstacles in our lives which change us. And then we lose colors. I believe we were born COLORLESS and with every breath and emotion we absorb billions of colors, but every time we sacrifice or we suffer, or somebody we love suffers we loose colours. Not even loose them but they simply fade and loose their unique taste. They metamorphose. We are born to be colorful but our emotions, our desire to feast and our fear, our love, prejudice, wisdom, pain, excitement even our intelligence, either lightens or makes our colours more intense, more complete.
02.09.2014. 72 hours left in Africa
9 hours Until my bus to the capital Nairobi, where I was about to enjoy 36 hours of being a tourist in Kenya. A phone call. It’s me and Silas staying in-front of the desk of Violet- the director of the children’s home I was working for. The previous day I had finally spoken to a social worker about my unrest of the regulations and the personnel management in the orphanage. In our conversation Violet insists (that according to the social worker) I have a «personal issue against her». I said nothing, I just called the social worker and put it on loudspeaker and directly asked if she said so about «my personal issue about Violet». As I thought she told me that there is no such thing and she said to Violet I was just worried about the kids because their personal progress is under the minimum, when they have enough donations and material to increase their knowledge and well being. Lies I strongly dislike and I would always prefer to directly speak about to people without permitting the «broken telephone» effect. I think if there is any issue with my work or with the work of the people I collaborate with it should always be confronted and talked about. This is the only way to resolve problems – communication and honesty. Everything else could easily be figured out. Violet, a couple of months later was transferred because of her inefficient work for the orphanage. Replaced by a new director who helped the orphanage obtain better results than ever. Nowadays Kelvin is able to walk and improving everyday!
7 hous left – Paris running to the town to pass and leave a chocolate and a card to doctor Egondi Georgi – a valuable man, who helped me so much while working on the physiotherapy of Kalvin.
7 and a half hours left – running to the sweet shop to take the cakes I ordered for both children’s homes I was working in and for the wonderful family that gave me accommodation while my stay in Africa. At that same shop the host of my house, told me she never had a whole cookie, just by herself, without sharing it with her family. I respect her quite a lot and I hope more parents would enjoy what they have (no matter little or a lot a lot) with their children and love ones.
6 hours and a half: Receiving a dear present and the sweetest note from a family of tailors in Bungoma who work in the street on the way of one of the orphanage. Another example of people who I felt connect with and think they are just incredibly generous and graceful to share the little they have with me. No matter that the middle salary in Bungoma is about 100 euros and with the cost of an Iphone you can do your first payment in terms of buying a house, I found many people extremely generous and kind with me. That only showed me that we need to be more modest and to share with others and that is how we would enjoy life even more. For all that kind human beings I met while my journey I would like to say one enormous “THANK YOU!” You are great!
6 hours left – my last greetings with the children from the children’s home. It was Saturday and Violet didn’t come to say goodbye. PRIDE. I left her a card to say that regardless the negative experience we had I am glad I met her and it helped both to grow and make bigger and better contribution at our workplace.
5 hours left. I had an amazing afternoon with the kids and we ate some cake and played for the last time all together. If there is a word to describe someone for being absolutely gorgeous and funny – these kids are the definition of it!
4 hours left- last hello with the kids from the other children’s home. The director gave me a sweet card with some amazing words to thank me for my compassion, serving in a great way for the kids from the orphanage she was running around very happy. Then there was a visit from some of the American sponsors and together with the kids they prepared a goodbye party for me. I have no words to describe the beauty and affection of this moment! I felt something unbelievable and very emotional, staying with my wonderful kids for our last but most precious moments.
2 hours to go before i left i felt uncomfortable of how much attention and honor they gave me. I think they are such wonderful creatures that the person who felt really honored to be there was me – having the possibility to work with them every day for the last couple of weeks. It was maybe one of my best moments in life and I surely left a piece of my heart in this place. After all these hugs and love it was time to grab my luggage and go…
My mother had chemotherapy when I was around 12 and I will always remember one very important lesson she told me – “No matter how much we want to help and bring peace in the world we cannot entirely do that. But what we can is concentrate and fight for one cause and bring some improvements about it. Nothing will be really perfect, but that is not what is really important. Perfection is fantasy. Work and contribution to our ideas and beliefs is what counts. Saving one person will not change the world, but surely for that one person, the world will change forever.“
Working in the voluntary field for the last 12 years (on the picture below you can see me organizing my first project to help an orphanage in my native country Bulgaria when I was 13 years old) I have learn another important lesson – The importance of self protection. Why? It’s the same logic when they explain us how to survive in a case of plane crash if traveling with our child. First we need to put the oxygen mask and then to put it to our children. Self-conservation it is. First we protect ourselves to be able to be enough strong to protect others. You need to be stronger to make things stronger.
Goodbye Africa, it was I confess, incredibly difficult but all the things I have learned made it all worth it.
15 minutes before I go there I was all in tears. But chasing your dreams sometimes means even being broken on the inside. And the reason it hurts so much to separate you from the place and lovely people is because your souls are connected. Stay true, stay you and see you very soon…Remember – self conserve and you will make it.